


i would have written back

by aone



Series: life is... so unfair [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Life Is Strange, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-06
Updated: 2017-07-06
Packaged: 2018-11-23 17:36:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11407248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aone/pseuds/aone
Summary: “Five years and you’re still the same, Kageyama.”





	i would have written back

**Author's Note:**

> lis au where kageyama is max and hinata is chloe
> 
> i don't really like this very much but i worked on it so have it

The car ride is silent.

The constant tapping of a finger on the steering wheel only helping the tension reach its peak. The atmosphere is stifling and Kageyama kinda-sorta-really wants to open the door, jump out, and hope he survives the impact. He looks down at the broken camera in his hands and the stray pieces on his lap and decides it’s best to stay quiet, lest he accidentally open the dam that’s been filling since 2008.

He chances a glance to his right and he’s blown away by how much has changed since he moved to Osaka. The car is incredibly familiar, echoes of trips going north and south of Sendai ring in Kageyama’s ears, sounds of happy laughs from happier times; but in the same instant everything was so different. There’s candy and fast food wrappers on the floor; uncapped pens, pencils and papers with little doodles and scribbles litter the dashboard; decorative amber feathers hang from the rearview mirror and swing every time they stop or turn; words and sentences in marker cover parts of the vehicle’s interior. It’s obvious that Hinata’s made this car his own.

And it’s not just the truck that’s changed either.

Kageyama really looks at Hinata for the first time in years and sees a stranger dressed up in his best friend’s skin. His best memory of Hinata was in a plain white t-shirt, black cargo shorts and the pork bun socks he used to make fun of but was secretly envious of. They were in Kageyama’s bedroom, tossing a volleyball back and forth and talking about making it to the national level one day. Maybe even international.

An unspoken agreement floating in the air that if they were going to try and make it, they were going to do it together or not at all. They weren’t losing to each other.

Now, Kageyama looks at him and takes in the beanie, the black button-up, the ripped jeans, and the worn leather boots and can’t help but feel as though he’s lost something. That he’s missed an opportunity or something like that.

There’s a part of him that’s stuck in the past and wants to know if Hinata still has those pork bun socks. His feet used to be too small for them but Kageyama wonders about now.

Has he grown out of them?

Beer and soda bottle caps slide as they make a turn and Kageyama recognizes the route they’re taking immediately despite how far they still were from the destination.

He remembers the box of missing person flyers in the bed of the truck but doesn’t mention it.

“Five years and you’re still the same, Kageyama.”

He raises his head and meets the eyes of the one person he swore to keep in touch with, his retort to pay attention to the road dying in his throat. The moment is brief and Kageyama relaxes somewhat as Hinata turns to gaze out the windshield.

What were you even supposed to say to someone who life had wronged so badly? Who you yourself had dealt a crippling blow to?

“Yeah.”

Kageyama frowns as Hinata snorts and the feathers swing as the car stops to let a few pedestrians cross. Neither of them talk for some time and Kageyama feels himself get more and more apprehensive as the seconds tick by. He feels like he’s walking on thin ice. Feels like he’s back on a volleyball court and it’s the final set. The other team’s at match point and he’s the one serving. He’s alone and no one is going to be holding his hand through this.

No one is here to pat him on the back and tell him _don’t mind_ if he messes up.

The car jerks forward and Kageyama’s ears pick up on the light sigh on his right.

“You could’ve called, or– or texted. Hell, you could’ve written letters and I would’ve–.” Hinata cuts himself off, tightens his grip on the steering wheel and bites his lip as his eyes start watering. “I would’ve written back.”

Kageyama is frozen. Guilt is washing over him and threatens to drown him, but it doesn’t and the silence that follows isn’t unwelcome. He knows that Hinata is holding back, he knows how easy it would be for Hinata to just blow up in his face like he did back when they were ten and the height difference was no different but Hinata never really knew when to back down. Or even earlier, when they first met at four years old and were sworn enemies until they were paired up together at their daycare center.

He wills his lips to move and his vocal chords to work and lets out the two words that have been on his mind for five years now.

“I’m sorry.”

From the corner of his eye, Kageyama sees Hinata nod and loosen his grip on the wheel, his shoulders slump as if burdened with the weight of the world. There is so much to be said on Kageyama’s part but he doesn’t know if voicing his regrets would lighten the load or add to it, so he falls into silence again.

He doesn’t have to wait long, Hinata bounces back from that moment of vulnerability as fast as he used to zip up, down and around the court.

“So, what did Tendou want with you?” Hinata asks, eyebrows furrowed and a pout on his lips.

“I… don’t know.”

A loaded gun, Hinata, a spatter of blood.

An impossibly bright, almost luminescent orange butterfly.

Kageyama shivers.

“But I do know that his family basically owns Shiratorizawa.”

Hinata scowls. “He and his family are shitty people.” He looks at Kageyama with what looks like concern. “Your friend really stuck his neck out for you.”

“Yeah. I owe Suga-san big time.” Another surge of guilt rushes through him. How could he have just left his senpai like that?

“Yeah you do,” Hinata says, the corner of his mouth quirking, marking the start of a grin. “Buy him a pork bun.”

“Dumbass, how is that enough of an apology?”

A laugh escapes Hinata’s mouth and Kageyama startles, at both the sound and the realization that he just called Hinata a dumbass, just like old times. He turns his head and finds Hinata shaking his head biting the instead of his cheek to stave off the grin threatening to break out. It’s useless, Kageyama thinks, as Hinata’s left dimple makes itself known.

“Get him the curry one. That’s your favorite isn’t it?”

“So?” Kageyama narrows his eyes.

The pout is back. “Isn’t sharing something you really like with someone really special?”

Kageyama holds his tongue because damn him, Hinata is kind of right but also kind of not? It’s still just a pork bun from a convenience store no matter how much Kageyama loves them.

“I guess.” Kageyama huffs.

Hinata looks at him and Kageyama realizes he’s staring. He whips his head so fast something cracks in his neck and Hinata is laughing at him, saying that he’s going to snap his own neck doing that. Kageyama looks out the window to hide his reddening cheeks, grateful that they seem to be talking and acting like how they used to.

“Did Osaka suck and that’s why you came back to Miyagi?” Hinata asks, still giggly but eyes back on the road ahead. His hands are steady.

“No,” Kageyama says, unsure. “Maybe? It was… something. I was at a good school but…”

Hinata slightly turns his head to show that he’s listening, expecting him to continue.

Kageyama frowns and clutches his camera. “I felt out of my league.”

The car lurches suddenly and Kageyama barely registers the yelled _dumbass!_ that leaves him as Hinata manages to get the car under control. He’s sputtering and Kageyama wants to throw the broken device at his head, it can’t get any more damaged than it already was anyway. They could have died!

“ _Out of my league?_ Kageyama you’re a volleyball setter genius! Why the hell would you feel out of your league?!” Hinata sounds incredulous. A hand leaves the steering wheel to gesticulate his disbelief. “You were official setter in our first year of junior high!”

Kageyama looks down at the light stain by his feet. Junior high feels like a lifetime ago and his voice is quiet when he speaks.

“I didn’t join the volleyball club.”

He braces for another, harder lurch of the car to send him straining against his seatbelt, but it doesn’t come. Kageyama looks over to catch whatever face Hinata is making.

It’s indecipherable.

“What do you mean?”

Hinata’s voice is soft, but Kageyama hears it loud and clear.

“I didn’t… play volleyball, while I was in Osaka."

Hinata is silent but Kageyama knows the question on the tip of his tongue.

“I couldn’t play.”

That gets a reaction. Hinata’s hands are safely on the wheel but his eyes narrow in confusion then widen in shock.

“What? Did you get injured?!”

Kageyama curses his poor wording.

“No.”

“Then why couldn’t you play?”

Hinata deserves the truth and not the half-assed lies he told his parents on his first day of high school, having joined the photography club rather than the BVC. But Kageyama always had the feeling that his parents knew exactly why he didn’t join.

“Did you make a bad first impression with the team or something?” Hinata laughs but Kageyama knows it’s forced from the way he grimaces out of the corner of his eye. “Reenacted our first meeting, eh, Kage–”

“I couldn’t play without you.”

“Wha–?”

“We’re a team, remember?” Kageyama interrupts a second time, his heart his pounding and it’d be a wonder if Hinata couldn’t hear it. “We said that if one of us made it to nationals then the other would be right there next to him.”

Hinata doesn’t make a sound but Kageyama knows he’s listening.

“I wasn’t going to make it without you.”

The car is deathly silent, save for the sound of gravel crunching under the tires, the squeak of the steering wheel and the little clinking of the amber feathers hanging off the rearview mirror. Kageyama doesn’t know what to do so he counts the seconds that go by.

He doesn’t expect the first chuckle and sits there surprised as Hinata’s laughter goes from quiet to loud, to hysterical and breathless until he starts coughing and wheezing.

Kageyama forces himself to look to his right and sees Hinata wiping a tear, giving his lungs a rest with his chest heaving. The car has long since stopped moving, and Kageyama spares a second to take in the driveway he remembers giving Hinata tosses in, before turning back.

He doesn’t look away when Hinata moves to face him fully, the corners of his mouth are upturned but his eyes aren’t happy. Hinata is searching for something in Kageyama’s face and he doesn’t know if Hinata finds whatever it is or not when he shakes his head slowly, resignation wrapped around his throat.

“And you call me a dumbass.”

He turns and exits the car without waiting for Kageyama to speak.


End file.
